Week.

Monday, May 10, 2010.

So, today was an okay day. My alarm didnt go off to wake me up for school. I spent my whole day watching my cat lick herself and me being on the computer. I was dabating if i wanted to write a book. then post it on my blog. But i am still not sure. I have a bunch of ideas what to write about. Jesse is inspiring me to write.

This weekend was good... But then on Sunday, Mothers Day, my mom wanted to go to the beach. So we brought our friends dave and debbie, and of course their son i HATE with a pasion! along. Gary bugs the shit out of me. He wouldnt stop making smart ass comments to me so i made some back. My mom told me to stop because no one wanted him to be in a bad mood the whole damn day. I wanted to go home because of him. I am pretty sure my mom had a wonderful mothers day. But on the other hand she didnt want gary to come either. Jesse already didnt like him after saying hi to him. We were all ready to go and then he said bye to all of us and then just stood there at our car for like twenty minutes just sitting there. My step dad said to Jesse and i "Doesnt bye mean... bye?" Because he was just standing there. He has this thing that no one likes about him. I cant discribe it. He was telling us all about how he has this dog (which is a sweetie pie) and it came from an abusive home. I said, "Now its back in one" He didnt like that comment. Hhaha.

For mothers day jesse and i got her this thing to orgonize all ther shit if she wants. She really liked it. We also got her pillows that went with her bed. She loves her bed so we figrued, these are the pillows she likes so lets get them.


I cant wait for survivor on thursday! Whoooo! Hhahaha. And i also cant wait tell my aunt and uncle leave so we can make tacos[: We bought them today! haha.

Well that was my day. [:

                                                                                   Me.

                                         Bubbly personality.                                 

                                                        Blue eyes and natrualy blonde hair.

                                                 I love to hang out with friends on the weekend.

                                             I love that God has played a big role in my life so far.

                                           I love that i have an amazing boyfriend that God gave me.

                                     I am happy that my relationship with my mom has gotten stronger. 

                                    I love my family and i love how my step dad has been there for me.

                               I love my life because i have everything i ever wanted, and everything that.

                                                                                  I love you;

                                                                                 Brother(s)

                                                                                   Sister                                                       

                                                                                   Jesse

                                                                                    Mom

                                                                                     Dad

                                                                                      Life.

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Broken Angel.

A broken thought a broken dream a grounded angel with broken wings.

She wants to fly but she can not.

A broken dream and broken thoughts.

She cries aloud with broken tears, but broken sound is all she hears.

Whats the point her wings to mend, is she justs falls and they break again.

So when she falls she'll cry and weep.

A broken dream shall fill her sleep.

But without wings she'll have a chance, to use her legs and learn to dance.

First she'll move with broken pain, but then her strenght will start to gain.

Now she loves to dance and sing, and so forgot her broken wings.

She needs not music of a beat or sound, as she dances on the ground, but to the sky her eyes did angel, and what she saw was another angel.

She forgot to dance and sing, and began to wish she had wings.

But they were merly broken toys, and with these memories come broken joys.

To feel broken is now her choice.

Even with her feet and voice, sometimes joys in the things that you've found,

While youre broken low and down.

So while our angel starts to sing, about her broken untened wings, she stops and starts to cry.
She's hear by angels passing by.

They said she had a beautufil voice, and if they could dance that'd be there choice.

You dont need wings to learn to fly.

Your dance, your song can touch the sky.

I think this is kind of cheesey, But i wrote it a long time ago. I wrote this when i was in middle school and i got a B plus on it. I love this poem beucase it is an insperational thing that i did. I just recently found it and remembered this poem. So i decided to let everyone read it and see what they think.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think. [:

Thank you!

Jennifer Rose.

May 6, 2010.

Today i stayed home to spend some time with my boyfriend. I woke up and did my hair and my make up. I argued with my boyfriend about him being jealous when he shouldn't have to be. He knows i am with him forever. But today i went off the deep end. I told him that if he didn't Straighten up and stop all the shit that he does to make me pissed. I admit, i am a girl and i do have my moment when i freak the fuck out when i shouldn't. But i believe that everyone will agree with me that i am getting annoyed that he is always jealous. I do love Jesse with all my heart. He is amazing. He means the world to me. I honestly don't know if i could end our relationship. He is my everything. I love him so much. 

I kind of regret telling him that because it was harsh and mean. He was really upset. Not like mad but really sad that i said that. I guess i never really knew that you can hurt someone that loves you the most so easily. I was just speaking my mind at that moment. I am a very open minded person and i do speak how i feel or what i want to say. So, I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I shouldn't have told him that i would leave him if he didn't stop the shit. I am sorry that i said that. I hope he knows that i love him more then anything in the world. He is my everything. And i have no clue what i would do if i lost him. 

I love you Jesse Bly.

More then anything in the world. 

Everything Happens For A Reason.

I believe you are on this earth for a reason. I think that no matter who you are that God has planned something for you. That is why you are here. I believe that some reasons he would put you on this earth are to save someones life; to inspire someone; to do good; to change someones opinion to something; or anything. I believe in God, NOT science. I believe he made everything and put everything on this earth for a purpose. I think that he has a plan for our world. I think he planned for us to ruin this earth. This earth is already getting ruined by  the human race. And a lot of people don't really care. I care but not as much as the next guy. I am being honest. I don't think i can do anything to really save or help the world to become a better place. I mean i can recycle things and not throw things on the ground and what not; but not anything BIG, you know?

I believe i was put on this earth for a reason. I believe my reason or purpose is to make someones day or make someone happy. I think that i may be put on this earth for a number of reasons. Not just those. I think i am put on this earth to be with my one and only true love; Jesse Bly. I know God has a plan for me in life. I don't really know if it is a good plan or a bad one. I know that i have been through a lot of shit in my life and that i cant change that. I know that God has opened a lot of doors and opportunity's for me and has changed my life dramatically. I have been lied  to about stupid shit that has messed up my life big time. So i try to move on and realize that i need to move on and God will be there with me. No matter what. I know i have my boyfriend, my mom, and my step dad (Doug) to keep by my side and for them to be with me through everything. I am a worry bug but i know i can go to any of those people and tell them what is going on in my life. I had some issues with my mom when i was younger but our relationship has grown so strong since i have been one the past 3-4 years. 

I am still a little confused about God and the way he works. But i know as i get older i will know more about him and get a stronger relationship with him and everything will okay.

I love my life and and everyone in it.

I love that God has played a big role in my life.

I love that i have an amazing boyfriend that he gave me.

I love how he helped to build me and my mom's relationship.

I thank everyone in my life to get me as far as i have gotten in life.

I thank them because they are the cause of me being as strong as i am.

I love you;

God.

Jesse.
Doug.

Mom.

Life.

What it's all about.

Today was a really good day. I woke up on the good side of bed this morning. It made it especially good because my boyfriend was there. In school we got parts to read out of a book. We are reading Romeo and Juliet. I am so excited. I didn't pick a big part. I picked a medium. So i am proud of myself. I don't really like to read out loud but i am really excited about reading the book, if that makes sense?

My friend Becca has diabetes and she had a very low blood sugar at school today. I got to spend almost the whole day in the office with her and talked to her and we hung out. I was texting the whole time. She couldn't because she got her phone taken away. She was eating donuts and M&M's the whole time to get her blood sugar up. She through away half of the donut though. She almost fainted when we went in the office the third time. She was dizzy and spacing off. Her cousin thinks that sense she always smokes weed she is having with drawls from not smoking a cigarette or weed anymore. She is trying to stop because of her asthma and everything going on in her life. She asked me to help her and i felt really important. We have only known each other for a little bit. I just moved here and she is already my best friend. But anyways, she almost fainted and we had to give her something to drink and eat... again!

My boyfriend texted me and i told him what was going on and he told us to give her food and something to eat. We went into the lunch room and got her some sugar things and she ate them. Becca was feeling fine after that. She cant miss any meals or that will happen to her. Her diabetes is really bad. Her dad has diabetes and it is really bad. Worse then Becca's.

I am so happy i have her in my life. I feel bad that she had to go through that today. I was the only one that was concerned and one of her best, BEST friends wasn't even concerned. That really made her really upset. I told her that it was okay, and maybe she doesn't really know what is going on. But she knew that her friend knew what was going on. I tried to make her feel better. I love helping people so i am glad i was there today.[:   

Things I love in life.

Laugh.
Smile.

See my boyfriend.

To see my family.
Save someone.
To help someone in need.
Read.

Blog.
Spending time with the people i love the most.
Learning new things.
Go to school.

To see someone happy.

Making someones day.

To talk on the phone.

Texting.

Meeting new people.

Watching movies with my boyfriend.

Spending one on one time with my mommy.

Talking.

Talking about my issues in life and what I'm going through.

Singing.

Writing.

Sleeping.

Eating.

Doing teenager things.

Going to the movies.

Going to concerts(Cant wait tell my boyfriend brings me to one!:D)

Party's!

Sleep overs.(hahaha)

Pajama day at school.! (hahah)

Slap ass Friday.

Nut tap Thursday.

Mondays suck ass but that is why i love it:]

Getting ready in the mornings.

Organizing things.

Planning things.

I love English class.

I kind of like worrying about things.. but at the same time i don't because i don't like to stress out.

I love being loved :]

I love to be on my computer and practice my typing and everything. Talk to friends and such.

And last but not least, I love my name and the way i am. I am unique and i am my own person. I am the only Jennifer Lynn Rose in the world that is like me. No one has my personality like mine. I am my own person. I love me. I love the way i am. I love everything about me beucase God made me this way. I love my life and everything/one in it. They make me who i am. My mistakes make me who i am today. So, I am proud of the person i am. I am me.

:]

Survivor(:

So it is kind of like a family tradition that we watch a show called Survivor. My mom and my boyfriend always fight about it Russel or Rupert get voted out. Today no one did. They made a bet if my Russel gets outmy boyfriend will have to make tacos. And if Rupert gets out then my mom has to make enchiladas. Either way its a win win for my boyfriend. Hha. He likes tacos and enchiladas. So, he isnt worried about anything. But neither of them got out so the bet was off.

I love my family they always make me laugh. Especially my boyfriend. He means the world to me. I know i say that about everyone in my life, becuase it's true, but he is something special in my life. He is my other half; my bestfriend; my everyting. They always make me laugh. My mom and my boyfriend are the only ones that can make me laugh so hard that i pee my pants. I almost made my mom cry and pee her pants in the doctors office when i was in there getting a check up. We were talking about how there was this house wrapped in tin fowel because they dont want the aliens to read there minds. haha. I dont believe tin fowel will stop them from reading there minds. And my boyfriend made a very good point. They didnt put tin fowel on there roof only on the sides of there house. Why would they read there minds from the sides? Hha i mean come on seriously? I dont really believe that we are going to be abducted my aliens or anything like that. I believe there might be another living life out there on an other planet but i dont think we will find it/ have proof there is another living speciece out there. Well not in my life time anyways. I dont belive the world will end on 2012. I do believe something dramatic will happen in that time but i doubt the world will end. I think that is rediculous.

But anyways i am getting off topic here. Hha. :] I love my boyfriend and i love my family and my mom. They make me laugh everyday. My favorite thing in life is to laugh. And be with my family:] i love you guys so much<33>

Taking a Risk.

April 28Th, 2010.

If you know me, you know my brother means the world to me. You would know that he is my everything in life. He is in 5Th grade and we are 4 years apart. I don't live with him anymore (and it kills me) and i never get to talk to him. I called him today and only got to talk to him for a second. I found out that he will have to repeat the 5Th grade because my dad and my step mother don't believe that he can get his grades up in 8 weeks. They are always putting him down and never telling him he does a good job. That was my job when i lived there. I was always telling him he could do it. He has ADHD and a learning disability. He has a hard time learning things and remembering things. So i try to help him. He is really good at all school subjects but he needs to focus more. He needs more attention then he gets. (I think)

When I called my little brother my dad picked up the phone. He asked me why did i hang up on Michelle(Step mom) when she picked up the phone. I hung up when the phone went to the awsering machine. She was yelling in the back round at my dad. She is the biggest bitch that i have ever met. When I talked to my little brother he told me that he couldn't come up for the summer. I was so angry. I knew something like this would happen because every time i want him to visit me it never happens. But whatever. I am so used to it. I am so happy that my boyfriend is in my life. He is here with me threw thick and thin. He held me while i cried and he gave me kisses and hugs. They both mean the world to me. I love them so much. He is always there. It is funny. When i cry my brother always does the same thing as my boyfriend. He comes in my bedroom and gives me a hug and kisses my cheat. They both wipe my tears off and tell me they love me. I love them both.

My brother and i used to fight a lot. Now we don't. Its not likely that we fight anymore. It is because we have gotten older and more mature. Anyways. I love him more then anything in the world. Everyone in my family means the world to me. Sometimes I feel like I am doing something wrong when I say something. For example, when i left the house my dad and step mom were yelling at me saying that it was my fault and that i did it to myself and my brother is going to miss me and i am going to regrate it. I have no clue what i did but i guess everything i do is wrong... Im not doing a pitty thing but sometimes... i hate my life.

Up Coming Blogs:

- Taking a risk

-What it's all about

-Happy endings?

-The love of my life

-What makes me happy

-You are all I ever needed

-Fall to pieces

Diary.

Friday. April 23, 2010.

Today was an okay day. I dropped off my boyfriend at his friends house, went to my grandparents and told my friend i would hang out with her but never did. I feel bad and i know come Monday I will get yelled at for it. There is no use for excuses.

Last night I watched some home videos that my mother took of my brother and I when we were younger. I always put my dad on a pedestal and thought he was the greatest man in the world. But now that i saw the videos, that all changed. I saw that he would yell at my brother and I for no reason at all. He would yell at my mom for her trying to talk to his friend. He yelled at me for saying i love you to my moms friend. I was/am very disapointed that I always thought that he was the greatest man alive. I never believed my mom when she told me that he was a mean man when i was younger. Untill now. My father did drugs and he was an alchoholic. He abused my mom all the seven years the were together. He went to jail when i was seven years old and my borther was about two years old. I remeber the day that he tried killing my mom. He was so drunk that he got this thought in his head that my mom was cheating on him. He was a very jealous man and always thought that my mom was going to cheat on him and she wasnt really in love with him, when she was. He got so jealous he tried killing my mom.

Everything is coming together now. Maybe my mom isnt the bad person. I mean i never thought she was, I just always thought that my dad was the "truth" and he didnt do anything wrong. Now that I am older and more muture i understand most of everything in my life. My mom and I's relationship has grown stronger since i moved back with her. I think the time that we spent apart really helped our relationship. I love my mom with all my heart. She is amazing.

I told my step dad last night that he is going to walk me down the ile at my wedding when i get older. I really mean that too. He has been more of a dad to me then my actual father has. My older sister said the same thing to my grandma when she was my age. I thought that was pretty sad that all my dads kids (5) think the same thing. My older brother, Michael, dislikes my dad alot, for his own reasons. Him and i fight alot but that doesnt mean that we dont talk. My next oldest brother, Ryan, well he is a shy person. He doesnt like my step mom, Michelle, no one does, but he is always nice to people he doesnt like. My littler brother, Johnathan, dislikes my step mom very much. He would always come crying in my room when Michelle would yell at him or he would get into trouble. She uped his dose on his ADHD pills. He gets this glaze over his eyes when they get into affect.

Im not trying to do a self pitty thing, I dont have pitty on people, sorry but i dont. Im just bloging whatever comes to my mind. My life has not been a very bad experience. I think that my life has been very good, despite all the fighting and all the shit i have been through. I try not to think about all the bad things in life. I try to put all the good things first. I am not one of those people that goes with the flow, I wish i did, but i dont.

Im still trying to process all the things that are happening in my life. Im greatful that my mom is here to be with me no matter what.
Im so happy that it is Friday.

About Me.

Hey. I'm Jennifer Rose. I have brown hair and blue eyes. I have a bubbly personality and im a very easy person to get along with. Im probably one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I am in a relationship and am very greatful to have him in my life. His name is Jesse Daniel Bly. My favorite color is blue and music is my life. I hate drama with a pasion. I am writing this blog beucase i thought that it would be fun to start bloging since i love to write. My hobbies are playing volley ball, haning out with friends and family, and earning money(: My heros are my boyfriend Jesse Bly, my mom Lori Miller, my step dad Doug Miller, and my littler brother Johnathan Rose. They all play a really big part in my life. They all keep me going in life.
I love learning about WWII. I love to debate things too. I worrie about things i dont need to worry about. Overall, I think im a pretty awesome person(: